So sad

I just found out that a lady from one of my online parenting boards has passed on today from cancer. Although I am happy that she is with the Lord and in no more pain, I am sad at the same time. Its funny, I never knew the lady and here I am bawling my eyes out over her death. My heart aches for her little children who will no longer have their mommy there to tuck them in at night, read them a story, pick them up when they fall and tell them it will be alright. I can not imagine what those poor babies are going through.

People are always saying how they can't wait to go be with the Lord and they can't wait for this life to be over. I on the other hand feel the opposite.Does that make me a horrible person? I know that I am saved and have a wonderful Savior waiting for me to live forever in glory but that doesn't change the fact that I want to stay here on earth with my family as long as possible. I want to be the mommy my kids know and watch them grow and learn and one day have children of their own. I want to be a wonderful wife and grow old with my husband who I have been blessed with and know I do not deserve. I want to live life to the fullest here on earth before I go spend eternity with my Lord where I will no longer be the mommy and wife to my wonderful family. I know Heaven is wonderful and I won't worry about all these things while I am there, but I can not grasp the fact that my family will not be "my family" in Heaven.

I know God has a perfect plan and we were not put here for our own glory but His and whatever He has planned for us is His choice, but I find it so sad when children so young have to lose a parent.